Emotional Wounds

Most of us do not deal well with emotional wounds. We are afraid to let others know our hurts. So we suppress them—or we cover them up with anger—or we analyze the offending person, perhaps make excuses for them because we love them.

But none of these actions removes or heals our wounds. Suppressing hurts causes inner turmoil that usually intensifies damage. Anger complicates everything. Rationalizing other people’s behavior might help us accept hurt—and keep us from becoming bitter—but it does not promote healing.

God has a remedy but it will not work if we deny our feelings—or if we are angry—or even if we make excuses for the other person. It is called forgiveness, and it means admitting both our woundedness and the other person’s sin—and choosing to forgive anyway.

Jesus said, And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your treapasses. (Mk. 11:25 NKJV)

Forgiving requires looking to Jesus because He gives us power to forgive. But the first step is acknowledging our wounds. We will not be open to healing unless we know we need it.

Originally published January 2, 1987.
Picture: Como Park Conservatory, St. Paul, MN, 2009. Photo by Solveig.

You Also Be Open

We are strange creatures, we people. Sometimes we are angry with others not because of what they have done to us—but because we feel guilty over what we have done to them. Or because of the way we feel around them. They remind us of our failures or weaknesses—our imperfection—our sin. Sometimes our feelings are so intense we dislike the other person intensely—and at best, we are uncomfortable.

The Corinthian Christians experienced these feelings when they thought of the Apostle Paul. He was their spiritual father but, in his absence, they had followed false teachers. Later, when they recognized their error, they were ashamed to admit it. Paul loved them with a pure heart, but they said hateful things about him. Although he was their spiritual father, thinking about him made them uncomfortable.

Paul wrote a long letter to these mixed-up people. O Corinthians! he said. We have spoken openly to you. Our heart is wide open. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted by your affections . . . You also be open. ( II cor. 6:11,12, 13b NKJV)

All of us have failed other people at times. How do we feel around them? Are we open about our failure?

Originally published September 22, 1989.